My Pink Half of the Drainpipe Questions, Questions A phone call from Lola’s PR guy Sam Smith while I was on holiday in Ireland started the whole weird Silverstone weekend. “I’m lost, just outside Dublin and looking for a Japanese Garden,” I responded to his opening question. “That is not something you do every day,” he responded, impressed. A holiday with the family was interrupted by the Le Mans Endurance Series race at Silverstone and after the first two instalments, we were all looking forward to it. Would the Zytek do the job? Would the Audi pair have yet another stunning inter team battle? How much of a victory would there be, and what would happen this time? Too Much Guinness Attached to the Japanese garden, which took you through the life of a young couple who meet, fall in love, cross the bridge of engagement (in two bits, signifying the two separate lives), splitting up, re-joining, and then climbing the Hill of Disappointment, was a stud farm. There, horses were farmed out to “cover” (well, it is a Catholic country) between 70 and 120 horses a year, at 85,000 Euro a time. Four years of racing, 15 years of “covering”, this horse had struck gold. No Hill of Disappointment here, and I am switching religions to one that includes re-incarnation as a horse. Long Exposure So I flew home, leaving the family to the delights of Irish pubs, horses and bizarre gardens, while I headed to the wierdness of Silverstone. There, photographer Brooks went into overdrive before the weekend had even begun when he found out that Cottonballs scribe Michael had gone to Waitrose 60 miles away for the weekly food shop, with Brooks’ cameras in the boot of his car. The paddock rapidly found out about this escapade much to Michael “No I didn’t bring you a bloody sandwich” Cotton’s frustration. Without cameras Brooks unleashed himself on an unsuspecting paddock. Stephane Ratel’s new facial topiary, we were informed, made him look like one of the Bee Gees; we think Maurice, but none of us professes to know the warblers well enough to be sure. Self Abuse My own sojourn to the paddock saw an encounter with Mrs Minassian, who threatened a punch after reading Nurburgring’s report in which I reported her thumping a marshal, and left her husband to describe the rest of the paddock. “That Rob Barff, ‘e is a wankerr” he said on Saturday before his car packed up. “He wasn’t on the track at the same time as you, Nicolas; that was Justin Keen.” “Oh, then ‘e is a wankerr, too. Don’t use their names. Actually, I don’t care, they shouldn’t be wankerrs…” That we were firmly in Bingy Bongy land was confirmed when the grid girls found that their changing room was attached to the press room. Typing fingers hovered over the keyboards as nubile young ladies headed beyond the closed door. It was quite some time before anyone could resume their concentration not helped by aging snappers' imaginations running wild, babbling on about baby oil and hot butter. Bristol City 1......... It is not often the totty count is quite so high at the UK races but everyone raised a smile when Elodie, Larbre Competition’s pneumatic ‘team manager’ who was dispatched to the Monza podium all those months ago, was initially kept well away from the prize giving this weekend by officials now wary of Jack Leconte’s sense of humour. Leconte’s antics seemed to have backfired when he fired up the engine of his Larbre Competition Ferrari 550 Maranello on Thursday night in the garage outside of acceptable hours and received an official warning. Perhaps in retaliation, a local farmer spread slurry on his fields on Saturday afternoon, mid race, ensuring the heady smells of fuel and rubber were interspersed with a healthy dollop of poo. Boogie Wonderland Silverstone had a crowd of around 14,000 people, despite only having around six weeks to promote the event thanks to the late signing of the contract. A concert was laid on, and all credit should go to the British track for a bit of positive thinking. What makes all the sports car races so great? What links Le Mans, Sebring, Petit Le Mans, the Spa and the Nurburgring 24-hours? Camping, and Silverstone found itself with 1000 happy campers dancing to the disco laid on outside the paddock on Saturday night after the race. I am not sure about the choice of music, “It’s raining men” at a motor race? If the series is looking to expand next year, they must work to change attitudes of circuit promoters and get them to lay on such facilities (though with different music – and for God’s sake don’t ask our own Maurice). It was comparable to the Oschersleben launch of the Porsche 996 GT3RSR last year, at which a load of roller skaters fell over quite a lot. Kerr Pow Back to the racing, and Robbie Kerr and Chris Dyson had a dream start to their weekend in the Zytek, the British driver setting a stunning pole position, 1.6 seconds faster than anything else. “I’m obviously getting old” said Audi’s Herbert as he looked at the time sheets. The Zytek was mega around the British track, Kerr, on his endurance racing debut, similarly spectacular. Dyson was no slouch either and has obviously had some great tuition from the likes of Wallace, Weaver and Leitzinger over in the US. The American has now driven the MG, the Dome and the Zytek, and is in the process of finalising a deal to run with Kerr at Spa next month. The pair worked well together, Kerr thoroughly enjoying himself before he and Justin Keen collided, spinning the Lister and forcing the Zytek into an unscheduled stop. Keen and his partner, Rob Barff, had a few incidents with a number of cars, an unnecessary blot on the race for the Lister which was having a rather reliable, quick run. Club Tie If ever there was an argument to have a mixture of classes, the LMES at Silverstone was it. Kaffer pulled a stunning move on Davies at Club Corner, but could not make it stick. Then Kerr had a go at the German a few laps later. A backmarker was in the middle of the same spot when Kaffer chose the inside line past him, Kerr the outside. “I wasn’t expecting that,” said Kaffer. “I couldn’t do it, and I couldn’t believe how fast he was on that line. I just gave him room when I saw him.” The Audi was again the superior car, Kerr and Dyson eventually falling away with a couple of incidents that robbed them of a fantastic and well deserved result. Even an ill-handling Team Goh Audi came home ahead of them which was no justice at all. Jean-Marc Gounon, Alexander Frei and Sam Hancock raced to another victory in the Courage C65 which is about to launch into a race across the globe to race at Elkhart Lake for next weekend’s ALMS race in the hands of Miracle Motorsport. Modena Madness Stephane Daoudi and Roman Rusinov won the GT class as Sascha Maassen and Adam Jones stopped their Cirtek car in the second hour with a broken engine. The Freisinger Motorsport Porsche had a broken power steering system, the JWR car needed a clutch bleeding, the T2M Porsche a gear lever cluster replacing. With the Porsches all in self-destruct mode, Xavier Pompidou, a vastly under-rated driver, and Piers Masarati, rocketed through to second position in class, a spectacular result in the four-year-old Sebah car. So, now the dusk has settled on another great race, another Audi 1-2-3 but you really have to see it to appreciate it properly. Don’t look at the result sheets, all you Belgians, Germans, and enthusiasts. Get to Spa, take a tent, and enjoy some great racing. Me? I’ll be there, but in the meantime I’ll head back to the Japanese gardens. They make more sense than some things in life. |
Andrew Cotton |
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